The strange conversations we have - Part IV

T2 and I were out in the yard this weekend as I tried to get a leg up on our garden before the flowering weeds (known as wildflowers to some) begin their treacherous assault on the flowers and herbs I actually like. We did not own our house last spring, so this is our first opportunity to make some sense of what's there, what gets to stay (nice flowers that don't irritate my allergies, herbs, rose bushes) and what must be relocated to the trash bin before it has a chance to turn on us (about 75 percent of what's growing there).

I was up to my elbows in dirt and phlox while T2 worked on their tans on the deck. We have a bit of privacy from the street, so people on the sidewalk, though they have a clear view of the deck, cannot see me as I work in some parts of the garden. Because if they could have seen me, the woman walking by with her husband, two small children and a set of grandparents would have had more sense and manners (I hope) than to say, "Oohhh, look at them. They look mean." 

Now, I imagine that at some point in my life it would not have ever occurred to me that anyone could say anything disparaging about the people or animals I love so dearly. At some point. But I have pit bulls now and I am always ready with a polite response when misguided, ill-mannered people say horrible things to my face about the clearly loved-and-cared-for dogs at the end of the leashes in my hand. So of course, I knew this woman was talking about my sweet girls and I knew it didn't occur to her that they would never be left out in the yard unattended (who worries about their vicious dogs being stolen, right?).

Up I popped like a marionette. I felt ridiculous even as I was doing it. I could not stop myself and yet in my head I thought, "Well, that's it. You've become that woman. There's no turning back now."

"Nope," I said, as if I were already a part of their conversation. "Not mean at all. In fact, they go to daycare each week to play with other dogs and they're great with children. Actually, they're the most affectionate, well-behaved dogs we've ever had." I could see the grandparents smirking a little, though I am not sure if it was at me for being a crazy dog lady or at the woman for being called out in her remarks.

"Oh. Um. Are they pit bulls?" 

"Yes they are. Really stellar family pets when given the opportunity to live in a loving home. No different than people."

"We have a friend who has a pit bull. It's a really nice dog."

"Right. So you know what I mean, then. Have a good day."

That's what I said, because that's how I have chosen to handle people's rude behavior toward my girls—with a chipper voice, a big smile and a firmly positive message.

In my heart, though, the conversation goes more like this:

"Oohhh, look at them. They look mean." 

"Huh. Your kids look stupid. I guess we're even."

The strange conversations we have – Part I

Anyone who has a pit bull knows what I mean when I say that a lot of people say a lot of strange things to us about our pit bulls. Some of the things people say are actually nice, complimentary or even just curious. But most of the things people say are uninformed, inappropriate or just downright mean-spirited. Sometimes we get both from the same people.

I was out one morning on a Saturday. We live near a homeless shelter and many of the guests there are out and about in the early hours. I’ve had various morning conversations with a few of them about pit bulls: ours, pits their families owned when they were growing up, pits they’ve met along the way, etc.

On this particular morning, I had both Toni and Téa with me. We had stopped to talk with a man for about five minutes about pit bulls, their personalities, how he bet no one ever messes with me when we go out walking. Then he said, pointing to Toni, “It would be really scary if that one got off his leash.” (Poor Toni—a lot of people think she’s a male due to her size and brawn.)

I was thinking we were on the same page, based on conversation up to that point. “I know. I can’t imagine how worried I’d be that someone would pick her up and try to make her fight or use her as a bait dog.”

He looked at me a little funny, paused and said, “No, I mean because she’d kill all the other dogs in the neighborhood.”

I laughed out loud. “That one?” I was cracking up. “No, that one is even afraid of cats. I wouldn’t be worried about the neighborhood dogs if she got out.”